Jose came to me about two years ago and wanted me to help him get out and away
from the high profile gang he was in. He somehow got my cell number from someone who knew someone that came to our
after school program and he decided to call me one Sunday.
He wanted to meet and wouldn't state why.... I'm not gonna lie - I was a little nervous when he told me his name....
he was well known for his violent and heartless methods.
I told him that I would meet with him at my office - he wanted to meet right away - like in 30 minutes......
I thought maybe because of the threats against my life that he was arranging something......
so I told him sure - "my office in 30 minutes"
I figured that since I have "panic buttons" in various places at my office I would be safe....
So, I went a little earlier and prepared myself just in case.......
Continued....
Sitting at my desk seemed like the place to be - I didn't want to look nervous. The bells on the door went off and my heart I swear felt as if it skipped a beat.....
I called out, " hey I'm in here" and he walked on into my office.
I could tell the minute he walked in that I had no reason to be scared. He had been beaten and it was obvious that it had taken a toll on his inner soul as well.
My heart went out to this guy who I had along with everyone else feared. He stood there in front of my desk and very quietly asked me if he could talk to me straight. I said " sure, but first I want to know if we are cool with one another" he stated " ya, its cool".....
So he sat down - and I asked him what was up.....he said very quietly - almost inaudible - "I got jumped out and I need you to help me to get my life straight now. I don't want to do this shit no more, can you help me?"
I looked at him and felt more compassion than I have ever felt I think for any of the other gangsters that I work with. Here was this man - not a kid - who stood in front of those who respected and feared him, and he allowed them to beat him. He had a few broken ribs, broken nose, chipped tooth, black eyes, but the thing that was more obvious than these physical ones was that he looked lost.
That's all he had for years was what he had just given up. He instantly had my respect and I was determined that he would have my friendship as well. Anyone that would put themselves through this deserves at least that.
I asked him "why did you get out" ......he said he just had been thinking of it for awhile. He said that he would watch me sometimes when I was out cleaning up graffiti or collecting truckloads of food for the flood victims and he wanted to be in that circle. He said that one of the last times that he had the younger gangsters paint a 187 (187 means to murder) tag he did it to see what I would do. When it got back to him that I got out of the cleanup bus - and had told the kids "I got this one" and that I had cleaned it up alone, he said that bothered him. He wanted to apologize to me. He said he also wanted to ask me to help him "get straight in life".....
I asked him, " do you really mean it or is this some trick that you have come up with".....
his reply was one that surprised me but at the same time made me feel as if the choice I had made to help those that had been cast aside and labeled as worthless was one of the best decisions I had made.
It took me about a minute of silence to ponder all of this. I needed to let it this conversation process somewhat in my brain. Surprised is about the only word I can come up with on this one.
Like I said, I thought about this for about a minute. The silence in the room made "Jose" shift nervously in his chair as he waited for my response.
It's amazing how much can run through your mind in a minute.
I was very careful when I spoke as I did not want to scare him away nor did I want to offend him. After all, he had taken the first step by coming to me.
So this is what I told him.....
"Jose" if you are really sure about this then I will do everything in my being to help you. This change cannot come from me though - it has to be what you want. When you set forth to change what you have been living most of your life it is very difficult. You have to seriously without a doubt want this change to happen. It is really easy to flip back into the old ways - for instance - you can make over a couple thousand dollars a day selling drugs, but now working at a job 40 hours a week may if your lucky bring you about $350 a week. However, making that $350 may be hard physically but at least you are earning it honestly and don't have to look over your shoulder constantly. Also flipping yourself means to change all your "friends".......those homies that you have been kicking it with are not going to be supportive of your change. They will do everything they can to make sure you stay the same as them.
If its power you are looking for, you can find power by offering to be an influence to change others just like you. Who better to do that than you?
I continued on by telling him - "Jose" I too have watched you for a few years. Don't think for a minute that all that you did got past me or went unnoticed. You are a leader and a survivor and that puts you in a position to be anything you want to be - not just a gang leader or a dealer. I believe in people. Even the worse of the worse usually have something good in them. Sometimes the bad overshadows the good and people cant see it - its not on the surface but I tend to look at people in a different way. If you say you want to change then I believe you. The most important thing though is that you have to believe in yourself.
"Jose" had been looking down at the floor the entire time I had been speaking. When I finished he looked straight at me with tears in his eyes and said " nobody has ever told me anything like that. Like they believe in me and that I can do whatever I want......thanks for telling me that".....
I got up from behind my desk, not feeling the need any longer to be near the panic buttons, and I went around and stood in front of him and said " well its true - I do believe in you....if you have enough courage to go through all of this to get to me then I believe in you. I will do whatever I can to help you".
He stood up and I gave him what the younger kids all call a "momma hug" and he again repeated "thanks".......
"Jose" and I have become friends - its been almost 2 years since his flip. He has a girlfriend and a new baby and he works 40 hours a week. He doesn't have rolled up bills in his pocket like before but he is happy. One of the things that is really noticeable on him is that it is visible - he no longer looks like the scary gangster that he once was. Yes, he still has all his tattoo's and hopefully I can come up with some money one day to help him get those removed.
He calls me to talk and tell me about whats going on in his life and I keep pushing him to keep moving forward. He is working on his GED as well.
I tell him constantly that I am so very proud of him.....and I am.
Change has to come from within......the best dressed people in busy suits can often times be one of the worse individuals you could meet.
My advice to people is to try and look past at the tat's and the clothes and see what people have on the inside. I do it everyday.....because I believe in people and I believe in the power of kindness and compassion because that is what will bring about change that we want to see.
"Jose's" story is true. I am very proud of him and tell him everytime I speak to him. To survive all that he has and move onward is huge. He tells me that he really appreciates all that I have done but I reply that I didnt do anything - he did it because it was what he wanted.

The Watchful Eye Foundation began due to the need to inform and educate the public as well as offer solutions in regards to sex offenders, gangs and the harmful effects that these tough to talk about issues really have on children. Children as the victims once abused are forced to carry emotional and often physical baggage for the rest of their lives. The Watchful Eye Foundation teaches children as well as parents how to stay safe. Why? Because we care....